Tell me if this has ever happened to you: you’re taking off work — but not counting it as personal time off! — watching a ball-game between your favorite team and their most hated rivals, it’s the top of the ninth inning with the score tied, the opposing slugger comes up, and you can’t think of a single insulting thing to say about him.
I mean, he’s never been connected with steroids, his name isn’t anywhere close to being morphed into a swear word, and he’s never even gotten a parking ticket. He’s not too fat, he’s not too skinny, he’s not too old, and he’s not too young.
It’s a tough place to be in but you’re prepared.
Out comes your printed copy of Heckler’s Prospectus and you quickly find out that his wife cheated on him and was then awarded a disproportionately large amount of his money in the divorce settlement. And damned if he won’t hear about it!
These guys find a way to make fun of A.J. Burnett so you know they’re good.
Pro tip: louder equals funnier.