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Heckler’s Prospectus

Heckler’s Prospectus

Tell me if this has ever happened to you: you’re taking off work — but not counting it as personal time off! — watching a ball-game between your favorite team and their most hated rivals, it’s the top of the ninth inning with the score tied, the opposing slugger comes up, and you can’t think of a single insulting thing to say about him.

I mean, he’s never been connected with steroids, his name isn’t anywhere close to being morphed into a swear word, and he’s never even gotten a parking ticket. He’s not too fat, he’s not too skinny, he’s not too old, and he’s not too young.

It’s a tough place to be in but you’re prepared.

Out comes your printed copy of Heckler’s Prospectus and you quickly find out that his wife cheated on him and was then awarded a disproportionately large amount of his money in the divorce settlement. And damned if he won’t hear about it!

These guys find a way to make fun of A.J. Burnett so you know they’re good.

Pro tip: louder equals funnier.

Heckler's Prospectus

Heckler’s Prospectus

Tell me if this has ever happened to you: you’re taking off work — but not counting it as personal time off! — watching a ball-game between your favorite team and their most hated rivals, it’s the top of the ninth inning with the score tied, the opposing slugger comes up, and you can’t think of a single insulting thing to say about him.

I mean, he’s never been connected with steroids, his name isn’t anywhere close to being morphed into a swear word, and he’s never even gotten a parking ticket. He’s not too fat, he’s not too skinny, he’s not too old, and he’s not too young.

It’s a tough place to be in but you’re prepared.

Out comes your printed copy of Heckler’s Prospectus and you quickly find out that his wife cheated on him and was then awarded a disproportionately large amount of his money in the divorce settlement. And damned if he won’t hear about it!

These guys find a way to make fun of A.J. Burnett so you know they’re good.

Pro tip: louder equals funnier.

Evolution of Security

Evolution of Security

Anybody who’s been on a commercial airplane in the last six years is familiar with the TSA. (Authorial aside: what does “TSA” even stand for? Hmm… ah, okay, Transportation Security Administration.) These fine men and women who are just Doing Their Jobs certainly have their share of critics, myself included. At least they are also hip to the (sort of) recent blogging craze. At best, this will help an internet-savvy crowd relay their concerns, complaints, and commendations to the people who deserve them.

No way this ends badly.

Drummer Hunter

Drummer Hunter

Does your band sorely need a percussionist to rap on the skins and bang on the tubs? Have months of inactivity made your cymbals too damp and your toms too hollow? Have I got the website for you!

Drummer Hunter is a new-ish social network which aims to bring together bands and drummers. Since this is the music business we’re talking about, a profile contains only the relevant information: if you drink, if you smoke, and how hard you party.

(I pretty much stole this post from Austinist. I am as unoriginal as Travis Pastrana is totally sick.)

Bag Borrow or Steal

Bag Borrow or Steal

The idea at Bag Borrow or Steal is quite reminiscent of Netflix: you pay a monthly fee in return for being able to rent an item from a huge catalog for any period of time. Also like Netflix, if you fall in love with one of the items, you can keep it for yourself to have and to hold in sickness and in health ’til death do you part.

The Hook: the items are designer handbags and purses.

(I should really give credit to BuzzerBlog and their latest post for showing me the light on this service.)

Amber Alerts

Amber Alerts

I’m really not sure how to explain this. I think it’s a blog which lists significant Texas AMBER Alerts.

Which, obviously, is awesome.

On the Issues

OnTheIssues.org

I heavily dislike politics and largely ignore the news media. I pretty much only pay attention to The Issues (which I sarcastically capitalize) the week of The Elections. I typically make my voting decisions after minutes of deliberation — not hours or days or years.

I have no delusion that my vote has any chance of affecting the election (explore this further) and I think that probably fuels my apathy. Why bother trying to track down every candidate’s stance on every issue and compiling this information into a big informed decision? The person I vote for matters more to my friends’ opinions of me than it does to the election.

All that said, OnTheIssues.org is pretty cool.

Wii Remote Whiteboard

Johnny Lee’s Wii Remote Projects

Wii Whiteboard Demonstration Video

This is a shockingly simple hack which gives you an effective electronic whiteboard on any surface you like (assuming you have a projector). You can download the whiteboard software from Johnny Lee’s website. If you liked Minority Report, you’ll probably like this.

Free Rice

FreeRice.com

Though I’m skeptical that this does anything at all to improve your vocabulary, it’s a nice cause and it’s sort of fun. For every word you correctly define, they’ll donate 10 grains of rice through the United Nations to, well, you know, End World Hunger. They also give you feedback with a magic vocabulary level number.

I’m a 37. Ladies, please form a line to my left.